Bringing Therapy Home: 5 Simple ABA Strategies Every Parent Can Use Today
Bringing Therapy Home: 5 Simple ABA Strategies Every Parent Can Use Today
If you have ever sat in a meeting with a behavior analyst or therapist, you have likely heard a lot of clinical terms: reinforcement contingencies, discriminative stimuli, extinction bursts. It’s enough to make any parent’s head spin.
But here is the secret: you don’t need a PhD to use the science of behavior. At its core, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is simply about understanding why we do what we do—and how to make positive changes.
While these strategies are the foundation of professional center based aba therapy, they are also powerful, everyday parenting hacks that can help you build connection, reduce frustration, and foster independence right in your own living room.
Here are 5 research-backed strategies you can start using at home today.
1. Positive Reinforcement: Catch Them Being Good
We often fall into the trap of being "reactive" parents. We wait for a mistake—running in the house, hitting a sibling, whining—and then we react with a correction.
Positive reinforcement flips the script. It is the practice of adding something pleasant immediately after a behavior to make that behavior happen more often.
How to use it at home:
Instead of scanning for trouble, scan for success. If your child is playing quietly for even two minutes, stop what you are doing and say, "I love how calmly you are playing with your blocks."
- Pro Tip: Use Behavior-Specific Praise. A generic "Good job!" is nice, but it doesn't tell your child what they did right. Instead, try: "Great job putting your shoes in the basket."
- The 4-to-1 Rule: Aim for four positive comments for every one correction. It builds an emotional bank account that makes the necessary corrections easier to swallow later.
2. The "First/Then" Method (The Premack Principle)
This is one of the most effective tools for increasing cooperation without a power struggle. The concept is simple: use a "high-probability behavior" (something they want to do) to reinforce a "low-probability behavior" (something they have to do).
How to use it at home:
Keep your language short and predictable. It is not a threat ("If you don't clean up, no TV"), but rather a promise of a reward.
- The Script: "First [clean up Legos], Then [snack]."
- Why it works: It clarifies expectations. Your child knows exactly what needs to happen to get what they want. It removes the argument and focuses on the sequence of events.
Great for: Getting through the morning routine, finishing homework, or completing chores before screen time.
3. Task Analysis: Breaking It Down
Have you ever asked your child to "clean your room," only to come back ten minutes later and find them playing with a toy in the middle of the mess? They likely weren't ignoring you; they were overwhelmed.
In ABA, we use Task Analysis to break complex skills into small, manageable steps (a process called chaining).
How to use it at home:
Don't give the big instruction. Give the first small step.
- "Put the stuffed animals in the bin." (Celebrate when done!)
- "Put the dirty clothes in the hamper." (High five!)
- "Pull the blanket up on the bed."
By breaking the chain down, you build momentum. Success with the first small task fuels the energy for the second.
4. Priming: The Heads-Up
Transitions are hard. Moving from a fun activity (iPad) to a necessary one (dinner) can trigger a meltdown because it feels sudden and jarring. Priming is the strategy of preparing a child for an upcoming transition to reduce anxiety.
How to use it at home:
- The Countdown: Give warnings before a favorite activity ends. "5 more minutes," then "2 more minutes," then "1 minute left."
- The Pre-Game: Walk through what will happen before you enter a new environment. "We are going to the grocery store. We will get milk and bread, and then we will pay at the register."
When a child knows what to expect, they feel safer, and a safe child is a cooperative child.
5. Planned Ignoring: The Art of the Pivot
Note: This strategy is for minor, attention-seeking behaviors like whining or making silly noises. It should never be used for dangerous behaviors.
Sometimes, our attention is the fuel for the fire. If a child whines and we immediately engage—even if we are scolding them—we have just reinforced the whining. Planned Ignoring involves intentionally withdrawing attention from the behavior you want to stop.
How to use it at home:
- The Pivot: If your child is whining for a candy bar in the checkout line, do not lecture. Turn your attention away or focus on something else.
- The critical second half: The moment the whining stops and they speak in a normal voice, immediately turn back and give positive attention. "I can hear you so much better when you use your calm voice. What did you need?"
You are teaching them that the behavior (whining) doesn't work, but calm communication does.
Final Thoughts
Using ABA strategies at home isn't about turning your house into a clinic; it's about creating a language of consistency. You don't have to be perfect. Parenting is messy, and no strategy works 100% of the time.
Pick just one of these strategies to focus on this week. Maybe it's "First/Then" for the morning rush, or maybe it's upping your praise game. Small changes in how we respond can lead to huge changes in how our children behave.
Which strategy are you going to try first? Let us know in the comments below!
